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Activists in the sun.


Activists in the sun.

Resting after a picket with my crazy buddies.

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Posted by on February 24, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

Lessons of a year by my lonesome self


At some point of our lives, we all have wished we can live by ourselves with no one to bother us and tell us this and that. Like honestly being a “Kueeng” of your castle is not just fun, but it is mostly fun in-between all the cooking and cleaning.

This is what I came to learn in my year away living by myself:

  1. You have to eat, and you will get tired of getting takeout. Meaning cooking is something you will have to do whether you like it or not, and there is no way you are going to cook if you’ve got no groceries. I‘ve lived with mama and my siblings my whole life and have never really gone grocery shopping; my part of the deal was to hand the money over and viola food in the cupboard. I now hate supermarkets.
  2. Cleanliness is nearer to Godliness, whoever came up with that should be banned for life because he/she spoke the truth. Like honestly you can’t keep pilling dishes in your sink and expect them to magically clean themselves, anyway there are no siblings or roomates to fight with over whose turn it is to wash the dishes and empty the garbage. Moral of the story; if you use it: you clean it, if it falls: you pick it up or else it will start growing mould. And there is no one to accuse of stealing your sweater if it somehow ended up under the bed. You are all alone.
  3. Light bulbs will give up ghost right in the middle of an important assignment and the convenient store two blocks away will be your best friend. You might as well as pick up a few “non-essentials” just in case. And oh, you might as well as get a few candles because you might need them.
  4. You are now not just a housekeeper, cook and cleaner; you are now the resident plumber just in case the sink decides to be slow draining  at night as it is common in old apartment buildings. Geez I now know the difference between all the different types of drain cleaners and can actually ewww use a plunger.
  5. Make friends with the neighbours even if it means just a friendly good morning because you will find out there is that one thing you never thought you will need and the shops are closed, so where else to go than next door. It is called being “neighbourly”
  6. If the laundry is out, it won’t scream “come and get me” when it starts raining, you actually have to get off the couch, walk up or down the steep stairs and realise you left the umbrella (as if you can take the laundry off and carry the umbrella at the same time) inside and you end up wetter than what you came out to get.
  7. There is always that one person who knows the comings and goings of everyone in the building. I don’t know how many times I have been told that I was actually away for a week or so, and how number (inset here) is always bringing guys to his apartment, never has a girl walked in.
  8. Having the locksmith’s number is more important than a spare pack of gum. Care takers always go A.W.O.L when you really need them, having the “lockie’s digits and spare keys you keep at work is a great idea unless you want to wind up being a “street adult”
  9. No matter how hard you try to deny it: homesickness will hit you at the most unexpected times. Calling, skyping, texting etc won’t make any difference.
  10. You will accumulate stuff like it or not, what else can one do other than obsess at how empty a certain corner looks, and viola you’ve got more stuff than you can actually imagine. (that will hit you the day you have to pack up and move out.)
 
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Posted by on August 2, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

Minimalistic (NOT)


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My name is Lucky, and I am a hoarder. I’ve just realised that this is how I am supposed to introduce myself from now on; I definitely am a “packrat”.

Two days ago I made the trek back home after living on my own in another province for a year. And today I decided to use my time off to clean out my room, and “lawd have mercy”; I found out I have more stuff than I’d like to believe.

I’m not talking stuff like furniture clothes (this might come up somewhere in this blog), I mean stuff as in umm well “stuff”. Geez it is scary how I have been collecting thing throughout the years. I like to think of myself as a very organised person and that’s true because I’d rather live with dust than clutter, I like to know where what is when I need it. So don’t be painting pictures of a room that looks like an explosion just took place and was followed by a tornado and a hurricane. I mean I have an “organised” mess of things from here there and everywhere as my “collections” are either filled, boxed, hung or whatever storage method I devised.

Where do I start, I think the magazines are a great point for this “habit” of mine; I have several subscriptions and  kept every single copy of O Magazine right from where it started being published in South Africa, I have all 13 copies of the now defunct TrueLove Babe magazine and WRAPPED Magazine amongst other titles. A whole pile of books that no longer fit the bookcase, and well a few copies of this magazine and that magazine in-between my “readables”. I remember my excuse for this when my friend Lucky brought this up on one of our catch-up lunch dates was “words don’t expire” and there is no way I’m .throwing anything away. And to this he responded “well every hoarder has an excuse isn’t it”. I denied being a hoarder, well this is my confession.

Don’t get me started on the cds and dvds that I’ve collected ever since I could afford to buy them, I’m pretty much shocked to discover that I have some of these releases that I believe the artists have actually forgotten about.

Right in the middle of all these “usable” things as I like to think are souvenirs from my travels, things I got from people and what I kept because of “sentimental” value and these include all my journals spanning from when I was 14 years old to present time. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get rid of them and a whole file of little notes and cards from people I have met and trained. What needs more than a little explaining are the various party favours and mementoes from weddings (for someone who doesn’t want to have a wedding, I sure have attended more my fair share of weddings and actually gone as far as keeping every “thank you for celebrating the day with us” brick’n’brack. Like seriously do the people who chose these things still remember them? Well I do remember where I got each and everyone of them.

Anyone want a pen, a notepad or wrapping paper? Look no further because I have them by truckloads, the pens range from store bought and hotel/conference venues and so are the notepads. I write a lot, maybe my excuse is I always want to have something close by to scribble on or let me say “I know which animal print storage box to reach for when I’m having the “scribbles”. This leads to my written word, oh no I have kept every piece I ever wrote (nicely filled of course), but then is it necessary? Well why am I asking because these are my children and a good parent will never burn or throw their offspring away (this last part said with a very serious face).

Its true I am really bad when it comes to letting go of things and this includes clothes, well I do give some away to mama’s church but as for the rest; I am creating a vintage collection for my nephew, there is no way I can give them to someone. Shoes; well if they are wearable or fixable its ok they can stay a bit longer, bags uuummm am I really that much of a bag-lad? Geez I’ve got it bad

My name is Lucky, and I’m a hoarder. But no, I can move around my room and see a lot of floor space, I am an organised hoarder (and that’s how they all started)

(Photo from readexpress.com)


 
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Posted by on August 2, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Dear Straight People: We have to talk – Denice Frohman


Storms and Rainbows

Video courtesy of Upworthy via a friend who shared it on facebook. Sometimes you gotta love social media.
Just like I love this.

sending love

-Em

(http://www.upworthy.com/dear-straight-people-we-have-to-talk?c=upw1)

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Posted by on July 21, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

Homeward bound


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“No matter how dreary and gray our homes are, we people of flesh and blood would rather live there than in any other country, be it ever so beautiful. There is no place like home.” L. FRANK BAUM, -The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

They say there is no place like home or home is where the heart is. Honestly my heart is at home and no place in the world will ever be like home.

This time last year I was doing the same thing I’m doing today; looking for removal companies and quotes as I had a great move ahead of me. Because of work, I had to relocate from Duduza, Gauteng to Pietermartzburg, KwaZulu Natal. Some 410 kilometres away from all that is familiar. This was largely a decision that was influenced by job security as I’ve stated and it turned out to be one of the worst decisions I’ve ever made in my 37 years on this planet.

I left behind not only my family, the comfort of knowing where what is and all my friends. I also left my love and my sense of belonging. Initially I thought I would give this “new” place six months and if it doesn’t work out I would be on the first six to seven hours bus back home. Contrary to my plan, even though this place did not “grow” on me as I expected, I decided to give it another six months. This is my 11th moth here and I just can’t stay any longer. The phone calls, text messages and monthly bus trips have not made any difference.

The city itself is nothing different from the small town I grew up in, but there is something really frustrating about the pace of this place “Sleepy Hollow” comes to mind. I don’t know how I’ve survived this far, but staying any longer will be the death of me or if not, I might just lose my mind.

A while back I posted about how it seems as if no one actually notices my sexuality and that is really not a problem. But I’ve realised I’m too different form the people here. The way that I dress which funny enough is understated by Johannesburg standard, my tattoo covered arms and well there is my taste in music which I find quite shocking that people here or those I’ve come into contact with really don’t get it that I listen to Pop, Rock, Electro with some RnB thrown in. I am definitely an oddity over here and it is such things that make me realise one can experience culture shock in one’s own country.

Don’t ask me anything about my surroundings; I’ve come to know the city very well and can make my way around quite easy, but honestly in the 11 months that I’ve been here; I’ve actually haven’t done much more than go to work, go back to my apartment, go to the shops and hit the mall. Friends have asked me about hot spots and night life; like really is there a night life here. If I am to respond to that in all honesty I would say “it doesn’t exist, there is nothing, zilch nada”.

I am a small town boy through and through, but there is a limit on how quiet a place has to be, and this just didn’t cut it. As I count down the weeks before I eventually say goodbye to “Sleepy Hollow” and go back to where my heart is, I’m noting this down; Never Stray Far From Home Unless It Is Where You Can Make a New Home.

 
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Posted by on June 20, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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What is holding you back?


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Just a short piece on what I have seen and observed in me and my circle of friends; something is holding us back from loving. What that is, I’ve got no idea but I will try and talk about what I think has been holding me back from letting go and opening up to someone in the past.

 1.       Past hurts

Yes we’ve all experienced heartbreak and disappointment in our relationships and this has left some of us somewhat disillusioned.

 2.       Am I good enough for him?

I have to say this is what I have been most guilty of. The question “am I good enough for him”” has held me back from pursuing relationships because I felt I am not “worthy” of being loved because of my looks, past, qualifications, possessions and a whole lot of unnecessary things until I met the someone who was persistent enough to make me let down my guard and just let go. Low self-esteem issues lead to us not exploring our potential. We are mostly to blame for this as no one ever said “You are not good enough for me”, yet we still hold ourselves back.

3.       Does he really love me?

How do you expect to get to a destination if you don’t start walking? Go out with him, see what happens. If you are not meant to be together; so be it. Why should we always have to overthink things. If he is playing games, you will find out. Just don’t let it stop you from loving

 4.       I’ve been hurt too much

Like really, who in the world can say they’ve never been hurt or experienced disappointment? This goes back to number 1: yes you might get hurt, and you will learn from the experience. If you fall, you don’t remain on the ground but you get up. Get up and move on.

 5.       He  is just not my type

I hear this a lot from some of my friends. And my question is usually “what is your type”. The response I get is a long list of attributes, features and a whole lot of things that the person doesn’t have. Love is not about looks, possessions and all the things we expect from potential boyfriends. Love is about loving the person and wanting to be with them come what may.

Honestly the only person who is holding you from finding the on is none other than yourself.

 
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Posted by on March 27, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Distance and time

Distance and time

“Distance shouldn’t stop you. If you really want someone, you’ll make it work”-Wandile Ashley Masondo

In this day and age of the internet, Skype, BBM and other communication platforms; distance is just a rumour, or is it? The quote above is my friends Ashley’s Status Update on BBM and it got me thinking; what lengths will one go in order to be the ones we love?

Exactly three months ago I relocated from Nigel to Pietermaritzburg, a town 443.68 km. This distance is equal to 275.69 miles, and 239.41 nautical miles away from where my fiancé is presently. The move wasn’t 100% my choice or something that I have wanted to do, but I had to relocate because of work. If I was to still be part of the workforce, I had no other alternative but to move or I was going to join the many unemployed people in South Africa. Thus I was pressed to make a decision and take a position in another province.

This move was not an easy thing as my whole family is in Gauteng and double whammy; I just got engaged a month before the possible retrenchment. My fiancé was ok with it, as he believes we will be able to make it through distance and time.  I do miss my family, but not as much as I miss the King of my heart. I can go for days without talking to them, but with him a few hours of silence is like eternity

So far I have su9rvived three whole months without seeing him as often as I would have liked. We talk on the phone, text each other several times a day, but still I feel the distance. All this technology will never take the place of physical contact. My situation is even worse because I can’t jump on the plane, train or bus to be with him as often as I would have liked to because my job require a lot of travelling and many a times I have found myself a few kilometres away from him and there is no way I can pop in to say hello because I’m usually stuck in a meeting, workshop or training for the whole day and most of the evenings.

This is heart-breaking and very challenging. But, regardless;  my love for him is still going strong and I just can’t wait for the December holidays when I will be able to spend as much time as possible with the man who stole not only my heart but my body and soul.

I’ve heard a lot of people say that long distance relationships are hard work, I agree with that. But giving up is not an option if you love someone enough to wait until you are re-united. It is not easy going, but the challenge is worth it, especially if you know that you’ve got a good thing going on.

For now, my fiancé is singing this song, but hopefully soon we will be within reach every single day:

You are always on my mind

all I do is count the days

where are you now?

I know I never let you down

I will never go away

I really wish that you’d stay but what can we do

all the days that you’ve been gone I dreamed about you

and I anticipate the day that you will come home, home, home

 No matter how far you are

no matter how long it takes him

through distance and time

I’ll be waiting

and if you have to walk a million miles

I’ll wait a million days to see you smile

distance and time, I’ll be waiting

distance and time, I’ll be waiting

will you take a train, to meet me where I am

are you on your way?

I will never do anything to hurt you

I’ll never live without you

I really wish that you would stay but what can we do

All the days that you’ve been gone I dreamed about you

and I anticipate the day that you will come home, home, home

no matter how far you are

no matter how long it takes him

distance and time, I’ll be waiting

And if you have to walk a million miles

I’ll wait a million days to see you smile

distance and time

I’ll be waiting

no matter how far you are

no matter how long it takes him

distance and time, I’ll be waiting

And you can walk a million miles

I’ll wait a million days to see you smile

through distance and time, I’ll be waiting

oh oh oh

oh oh oh

oh oh oh

I’ll be waiting

I’ll be waiting

through distance and time

I’ll be waiting

You are always on my mind

all I do is count the days

where are you now? (Distance and time- Alicia Keys)

 
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Posted by on October 31, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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