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Distance and time

Distance and time

“Distance shouldn’t stop you. If you really want someone, you’ll make it work”-Wandile Ashley Masondo

In this day and age of the internet, Skype, BBM and other communication platforms; distance is just a rumour, or is it? The quote above is my friends Ashley’s Status Update on BBM and it got me thinking; what lengths will one go in order to be the ones we love?

Exactly three months ago I relocated from Nigel to Pietermaritzburg, a town 443.68 km. This distance is equal to 275.69 miles, and 239.41 nautical miles away from where my fiancé is presently. The move wasn’t 100% my choice or something that I have wanted to do, but I had to relocate because of work. If I was to still be part of the workforce, I had no other alternative but to move or I was going to join the many unemployed people in South Africa. Thus I was pressed to make a decision and take a position in another province.

This move was not an easy thing as my whole family is in Gauteng and double whammy; I just got engaged a month before the possible retrenchment. My fiancé was ok with it, as he believes we will be able to make it through distance and time.  I do miss my family, but not as much as I miss the King of my heart. I can go for days without talking to them, but with him a few hours of silence is like eternity

So far I have su9rvived three whole months without seeing him as often as I would have liked. We talk on the phone, text each other several times a day, but still I feel the distance. All this technology will never take the place of physical contact. My situation is even worse because I can’t jump on the plane, train or bus to be with him as often as I would have liked to because my job require a lot of travelling and many a times I have found myself a few kilometres away from him and there is no way I can pop in to say hello because I’m usually stuck in a meeting, workshop or training for the whole day and most of the evenings.

This is heart-breaking and very challenging. But, regardless;  my love for him is still going strong and I just can’t wait for the December holidays when I will be able to spend as much time as possible with the man who stole not only my heart but my body and soul.

I’ve heard a lot of people say that long distance relationships are hard work, I agree with that. But giving up is not an option if you love someone enough to wait until you are re-united. It is not easy going, but the challenge is worth it, especially if you know that you’ve got a good thing going on.

For now, my fiancé is singing this song, but hopefully soon we will be within reach every single day:

You are always on my mind

all I do is count the days

where are you now?

I know I never let you down

I will never go away

I really wish that you’d stay but what can we do

all the days that you’ve been gone I dreamed about you

and I anticipate the day that you will come home, home, home

 No matter how far you are

no matter how long it takes him

through distance and time

I’ll be waiting

and if you have to walk a million miles

I’ll wait a million days to see you smile

distance and time, I’ll be waiting

distance and time, I’ll be waiting

will you take a train, to meet me where I am

are you on your way?

I will never do anything to hurt you

I’ll never live without you

I really wish that you would stay but what can we do

All the days that you’ve been gone I dreamed about you

and I anticipate the day that you will come home, home, home

no matter how far you are

no matter how long it takes him

distance and time, I’ll be waiting

And if you have to walk a million miles

I’ll wait a million days to see you smile

distance and time

I’ll be waiting

no matter how far you are

no matter how long it takes him

distance and time, I’ll be waiting

And you can walk a million miles

I’ll wait a million days to see you smile

through distance and time, I’ll be waiting

oh oh oh

oh oh oh

oh oh oh

I’ll be waiting

I’ll be waiting

through distance and time

I’ll be waiting

You are always on my mind

all I do is count the days

where are you now? (Distance and time- Alicia Keys)

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Posted by on October 31, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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The Queens of “The Gardens”

The Queens of “The Gardens”

It was a cold a drizzling day when I met Megan and Cleo; two homeless gay men belonging to a group called “The Queens of the Gardens” because of their frequenting the famous Company Gardens, I shiver even though I am wearing a jersey and I can’t help wondering how cold these two young men sitting next to me must feel in their light tops.

Cleo is 19 years old and Megan is 20, they are both originally from Mitchells Plain where they grew up and got thrown out of their comfort zones because of circumstances they both attest that they couldn’t control, they have never met before they became homeless but their circumstances made them best friends. This makes one wonder if the lives we are living are something we can or cannot have control over.  As they share their stories with me I can’t help notice that they are bubbly and well-spoken even though Megan has told me that he dropped out of school and he can’t read.

Cleo ended up on the streets of Cape Town six years ago when he couldn’t take the instability in his family life anymore “my mother has never had a house of her own, and we have always been moving from place to place. Most of the time we were living her boyfriends and would have to move on when the relationship ended” he says with a glazed look in his eyes. He tells me that six years ago he and his mother were living with one of her boyfriends as usual when the man’s sister arrived one night and told him that it is about time he found a place of his own, that was not the only problem he faced this time; the man they were living with was intolerant of his sexual orientation and had very strict rules about how he was supposed to be a “man”. Cleo goes on to say on that very same night he packed whatever little he had and decided to move to the City with hopes of finding a job which turned out to be a rather difficult task for someone so young and who doesn’t have any education.  That is how he ended up living by himself in the streets until he met Megan a little later who became his friend not only because they share the same circumstances of being homeless, but that they both are gay men who have been rejected by society.

Megan who is a year older than Cleo and has been homeless for seven years was forced to go out into the cold streets of Cape Town when his mother and sister were shot in an unexplained incidence, and His other sister is also in Cape Town making a living as a commercial sex worker. He comes across as the stronger of the two and he is so well-spoken for someone who never had an education and his sense of humour adds to his aura. For someone who has no place to call home and depends on what people are willing to give him, Megan is very spiritual and very optimistic about life. If only he had an identity document he would be able to get a job and make a living but that is not the case as his mother was negligent and did not even bother registering his birth.

Cleo and Megan shared with me how they live by begging on the streets and having clothes given to them by total strangers while in the other hand some people tell them to go look for jobs when they ask them for money which ironically enough is not large amounts as all they need for a single meal at the soup kitchen, where the go three times a day is R1.50. They both share the same fear of something happening to them and Megan being the oldest is more concerned about Cleo’s safety than his own, “every night when he is not back or delayed in coming back to Bo Kaap where we spend the nights I cry and pray that he be safe”. What strikes me as interesting and dispelled my misconceptions of homeless people is that the two “queens” laughed and said not at all, but we do smoke cigarettes when I asked them if they do drugs.

Life is indeed very interesting but when you get to talk with the people who are experiencing something you have never imagined could happen in your life is quite an eye opening experience and how we take for granted all the things we have whereas there are other people who wish they could be us.

(picture by Simonia Mashangoane; Cleo, me and Megan)

 
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Posted by on February 22, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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