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What is holding you back?


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Just a short piece on what I have seen and observed in me and my circle of friends; something is holding us back from loving. What that is, I’ve got no idea but I will try and talk about what I think has been holding me back from letting go and opening up to someone in the past.

 1.       Past hurts

Yes we’ve all experienced heartbreak and disappointment in our relationships and this has left some of us somewhat disillusioned.

 2.       Am I good enough for him?

I have to say this is what I have been most guilty of. The question “am I good enough for him”” has held me back from pursuing relationships because I felt I am not “worthy” of being loved because of my looks, past, qualifications, possessions and a whole lot of unnecessary things until I met the someone who was persistent enough to make me let down my guard and just let go. Low self-esteem issues lead to us not exploring our potential. We are mostly to blame for this as no one ever said “You are not good enough for me”, yet we still hold ourselves back.

3.       Does he really love me?

How do you expect to get to a destination if you don’t start walking? Go out with him, see what happens. If you are not meant to be together; so be it. Why should we always have to overthink things. If he is playing games, you will find out. Just don’t let it stop you from loving

 4.       I’ve been hurt too much

Like really, who in the world can say they’ve never been hurt or experienced disappointment? This goes back to number 1: yes you might get hurt, and you will learn from the experience. If you fall, you don’t remain on the ground but you get up. Get up and move on.

 5.       He  is just not my type

I hear this a lot from some of my friends. And my question is usually “what is your type”. The response I get is a long list of attributes, features and a whole lot of things that the person doesn’t have. Love is not about looks, possessions and all the things we expect from potential boyfriends. Love is about loving the person and wanting to be with them come what may.

Honestly the only person who is holding you from finding the on is none other than yourself.

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Posted by on March 27, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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I’m in “like” with you, but how do I tell you?

I’m in “like” with you, but how do I tell you?

Oh, how I remember the days of young love and “like”. The days when the boys I crushed on gave me a tingle inside my chest. The days when all I could think about was hanging out with them and sharing secrets. The days when all I was concerned about was liking him and not whether or not he had a job or good credit…

Of course, I wasn’t dating when I was 15, but that’s beside the point. What matters now is that you still have an opportunity to do these things—young crush things. Writing love letters may be a little too much right now, but you can be his friend and have a blast hanging out.

Here’s what you can do to get all the answers you need:

Make the approach. I’m assuming you guys aren’t already friends, so strike up a random conversation with him (about anything… yeah, anything). This will break the ice and you’ll see what kind of instant connection you two might have.

Make a date. Well, make a “hanging out” date. Invite him to check out a movie with you or play some ball or study together. Strike up more conversation to get to know him better.

Drop hints. During your “dates” (which aren’t really dates), bring up gay topics in the news or that one gay kid you knew in primary school or any other random gay topic. His reactions will help you figure out where he stands and, as an added bonus, will open the “gay” topic up for discussion.

Come out (when you’re ready). If you feel comfortable, let him know that you are gay. Try not to pressure him into coming out right then, but let him know that he can talk to you. If he’s scared he may back off, only to return later. Clear the air about yourself, but give him some space.

Let life take its course. This is the hard step for us impatient romantics. There are an infinite number of ways this crush can go. You won’t know for sure if he’s gay until he tells you and even then you won’t know if he digs you until he… you guessed it—tells you. In other words, you might as well be his friend, spend time with him, share you feelings, then chill and let things happen. All of your questions will be answered soon enough.

No matter how things play out, you’ll get some practice at approaching guys (which will be a huge asset once you get older… Gay men love other men who are brave enough to make the first move).

Well, my gay friend, I have to go off and check my credit report and you have your approach (and some dates) to plan. Remember, play it cool, ask him out, bring up gay topics, come out to him and then have the time of your life.

 

 

 
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Posted by on March 17, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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