Tag Archives: Growing up

FOMO doesn’t live here


I’m still thinking about the conversation I had yesterday with my buddy Bonginkosi Siphesihle Mthembu about growing up, success, aspirations and life in general. Its true, one decides how he wants to live his life, what he wants to achieve and what are his priorities.

My success and the next person’s will never be the same, we all want different things. So don’t define your success based on what society says. If you want to sit at home and read, take the taxi or train to work, have a job that doesn’t pay much but you are passionate about because it fulfils your every desire. Hey that’s your success.

Not everyone wants to be all glam in a mansion driving the latest model. To some people success is the simple things we tend to overlook. A lot of people have found themselves battling mental problems and financial ruin as a result of pursuing what society defines as success. As if this was lesson enough; more and more people find themselves battling FOMO because if it is not expensive, glamorous and super cool it is not a measure of success and your life sucks.

I find it quite ironic in a world where almost everyone is on about how unique they are, that its common for people to actually define success as having all the same same things and achievements that the next person has. Why ca’t success be defined by the individual, and in defining your own success why can’t you do that without being judged or being looked down upon because what you define as success is not what is the ” norm”?

So what is success to me? Give me love, a pile of books, music, a roof over my head, food in my stomach, clothes on my back, a healthy body and having made a difference in at least one person’s life. That’s all I want in life. It may come across as unambitious, but I am successful according to my own standards because I have all these things.

FOMO doesn’t live here

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Posted by on January 11, 2015 in Uncategorized


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Homeward bound


“No matter how dreary and gray our homes are, we people of flesh and blood would rather live there than in any other country, be it ever so beautiful. There is no place like home.” L. FRANK BAUM, -The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

They say there is no place like home or home is where the heart is. Honestly my heart is at home and no place in the world will ever be like home.

This time last year I was doing the same thing I’m doing today; looking for removal companies and quotes as I had a great move ahead of me. Because of work, I had to relocate from Duduza, Gauteng to Pietermartzburg, KwaZulu Natal. Some 410 kilometres away from all that is familiar. This was largely a decision that was influenced by job security as I’ve stated and it turned out to be one of the worst decisions I’ve ever made in my 37 years on this planet.

I left behind not only my family, the comfort of knowing where what is and all my friends. I also left my love and my sense of belonging. Initially I thought I would give this “new” place six months and if it doesn’t work out I would be on the first six to seven hours bus back home. Contrary to my plan, even though this place did not “grow” on me as I expected, I decided to give it another six months. This is my 11th moth here and I just can’t stay any longer. The phone calls, text messages and monthly bus trips have not made any difference.

The city itself is nothing different from the small town I grew up in, but there is something really frustrating about the pace of this place “Sleepy Hollow” comes to mind. I don’t know how I’ve survived this far, but staying any longer will be the death of me or if not, I might just lose my mind.

A while back I posted about how it seems as if no one actually notices my sexuality and that is really not a problem. But I’ve realised I’m too different form the people here. The way that I dress which funny enough is understated by Johannesburg standard, my tattoo covered arms and well there is my taste in music which I find quite shocking that people here or those I’ve come into contact with really don’t get it that I listen to Pop, Rock, Electro with some RnB thrown in. I am definitely an oddity over here and it is such things that make me realise one can experience culture shock in one’s own country.

Don’t ask me anything about my surroundings; I’ve come to know the city very well and can make my way around quite easy, but honestly in the 11 months that I’ve been here; I’ve actually haven’t done much more than go to work, go back to my apartment, go to the shops and hit the mall. Friends have asked me about hot spots and night life; like really is there a night life here. If I am to respond to that in all honesty I would say “it doesn’t exist, there is nothing, zilch nada”.

I am a small town boy through and through, but there is a limit on how quiet a place has to be, and this just didn’t cut it. As I count down the weeks before I eventually say goodbye to “Sleepy Hollow” and go back to where my heart is, I’m noting this down; Never Stray Far From Home Unless It Is Where You Can Make a New Home.

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Posted by on June 20, 2013 in Uncategorized


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