Just a short piece on what I have seen and observed in me and my circle of friends; something is holding us back from loving. What that is, I’ve got no idea but I will try and talk about what I think has been holding me back from letting go and opening up to someone in the past.
1. Past hurts
Yes we’ve all experienced heartbreak and disappointment in our relationships and this has left some of us somewhat disillusioned.
2. Am I good enough for him?
I have to say this is what I have been most guilty of. The question “am I good enough for him”” has held me back from pursuing relationships because I felt I am not “worthy” of being loved because of my looks, past, qualifications, possessions and a whole lot of unnecessary things until I met the someone who was persistent enough to make me let down my guard and just let go. Low self-esteem issues lead to us not exploring our potential. We are mostly to blame for this as no one ever said “You are not good enough for me”, yet we still hold ourselves back.
3. Does he really love me?
How do you expect to get to a destination if you don’t start walking? Go out with him, see what happens. If you are not meant to be together; so be it. Why should we always have to overthink things. If he is playing games, you will find out. Just don’t let it stop you from loving
4. I’ve been hurt too much
Like really, who in the world can say they’ve never been hurt or experienced disappointment? This goes back to number 1: yes you might get hurt, and you will learn from the experience. If you fall, you don’t remain on the ground but you get up. Get up and move on.
5. He is just not my type
I hear this a lot from some of my friends. And my question is usually “what is your type”. The response I get is a long list of attributes, features and a whole lot of things that the person doesn’t have. Love is not about looks, possessions and all the things we expect from potential boyfriends. Love is about loving the person and wanting to be with them come what may.
Honestly the only person who is holding you from finding the on is none other than yourself.