Tag Archives: lessons

My 10 at 38 (so far)


28 January 2014, I turned 38 years old. Okay 38 is not really a significant age, but what the heck; my 10 things I know at 38 are:

1. At some point of your life you will have grays. I’ve had grays since I was young but they have increased so much that my barber coerced me into colouring them.

2. There are some things in life that will make you feel “ancient”. For me, that is bars and clubs. Like seriously who am I kidding, I’m at the verge of 40, what the hell am I doing in a room full of kids and like seriously I can’t even think because of this loud music. As if I’ve never done that before.

3. Money, money, money. At this age how much I am worth is more important than how much I can spend, retirement is looming and chances of getting another job get slimmer by the day, saving is the order of the day.

4. Who cares what am I wearing. Quality, comfort and durability comes first now instead of whats in and whats hot. I’m over the point of trying to fit in.

5. I do want to have fun, but at this age it always turns into long lunches with friends talking about life and stuff. We are over dancing all night long and getting sloshed, we are grown ups now. Not bad at all (refer to 2)

6. I know more about life than I ever thought possible. That’s one of the things that come with age.

7. Laughing at all the “stupid” things I’ve done in my youth. Well, those are my lessons and without them I wouldn’t be any wiser.

8. Appreciating my body (flaws and all), and being thankful that it still carries me well without any troubles.

9. No matter how old you grow, mother still knows best and she will always look at you like her baby. I will never be too old to be chastised by mommy dearest no matter how hard I try to tell her I’m not a child anymore. (I know I’m not the only one experiencing this).

10. Turning a year older should be looked at as an accomplishment, the mere fact that I am still here is a reason to be celebrated. A lot of people would have liked to reach this age, but they couldn’t.

I am thankful that I am still here and the learning hasn’t stopped and the journey still continues. Without my friends and family to give me support, advice, laugh with and at me and sometimes use tough love and harsh words to get me back on track; I guess my life would suck. A toast to 38 years of life and anticipation to the big 40.



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Posted by on October 3, 2014 in Uncategorized


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HI who? Oh you mean that uninvited guest I’m living with.


It has been a little over a decade since an uninvited guest decided to come into my life (well I had a role in this), he has never left and will be here till I take my last breath.

A conversation at the office made me realise that actually I even forget that this “guest” is with me every day. Ironic isn’t it because for the past decade every day I have to take antiretrovirals in order to suppress it.

How can this be possible? I was 26 when I was diagnosed with HIV and today I’m 38 and still the same crazy, strange, skinny gay guy I’ve always been. It all comes down to the decision I made on that June afternoon years ago; that I am not going to allow HIV to be a determining factor in my life. Like come on, this is my show and I am the solo star “geddit”. There is no way I am going to allow something that needs me in order to live to take control and steal my spotlight.

Its not like I don’t think of HIV, come on I hear the bugger mentioned every day of my life because I work in the Health and Human Rights field, do trainings and workshops on this. But still it is not one of the things I obsess over. Its a virus, I am human, it has killed people and very real. But there is no way I am allowing that to happen to me.

My life is my life HIV or not, I am in control. Some people have said they find it strange that I am able to separate my HIV related work, living with HIV and  my existence on earth. I wish I knew how I am capable of doing this. Honestly there is no secret or fomular to this; I just decided to live my life.

Before my diagnosis I was into fashion, media and the arts, what has changed? The answer is NOTHING. Okay I might spend the whole day reasearching, talking, giving advice and training on HIV. Thats the only time this virus is in my mind. Come knockoff time; I’m listening to music, reading fashion blogs and magazines or “plotting” as to how I am going to change and improve my living space, wardrobe and hair or what gadget I would like to add to my ever growing collection. Come on, this is who I am. I not HIV, so why must it be the main thing in my life.

I’m no Super Hero. I am Luckyboy Phoenix Edison Mkhondwane, well I happen to live with HIV but it is not the most important thing in my life. I live, I breathe and I am proud of who I am and I approve this message as I “keep on swimming” 😉

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Posted by on April 12, 2014 in Uncategorized


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