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Distance and time

Distance and time

“Distance shouldn’t stop you. If you really want someone, you’ll make it work”-Wandile Ashley Masondo

In this day and age of the internet, Skype, BBM and other communication platforms; distance is just a rumour, or is it? The quote above is my friends Ashley’s Status Update on BBM and it got me thinking; what lengths will one go in order to be the ones we love?

Exactly three months ago I relocated from Nigel to Pietermaritzburg, a town 443.68 km. This distance is equal to 275.69 miles, and 239.41 nautical miles away from where my fiancé is presently. The move wasn’t 100% my choice or something that I have wanted to do, but I had to relocate because of work. If I was to still be part of the workforce, I had no other alternative but to move or I was going to join the many unemployed people in South Africa. Thus I was pressed to make a decision and take a position in another province.

This move was not an easy thing as my whole family is in Gauteng and double whammy; I just got engaged a month before the possible retrenchment. My fiancé was ok with it, as he believes we will be able to make it through distance and time.  I do miss my family, but not as much as I miss the King of my heart. I can go for days without talking to them, but with him a few hours of silence is like eternity

So far I have su9rvived three whole months without seeing him as often as I would have liked. We talk on the phone, text each other several times a day, but still I feel the distance. All this technology will never take the place of physical contact. My situation is even worse because I can’t jump on the plane, train or bus to be with him as often as I would have liked to because my job require a lot of travelling and many a times I have found myself a few kilometres away from him and there is no way I can pop in to say hello because I’m usually stuck in a meeting, workshop or training for the whole day and most of the evenings.

This is heart-breaking and very challenging. But, regardless;  my love for him is still going strong and I just can’t wait for the December holidays when I will be able to spend as much time as possible with the man who stole not only my heart but my body and soul.

I’ve heard a lot of people say that long distance relationships are hard work, I agree with that. But giving up is not an option if you love someone enough to wait until you are re-united. It is not easy going, but the challenge is worth it, especially if you know that you’ve got a good thing going on.

For now, my fiancé is singing this song, but hopefully soon we will be within reach every single day:

You are always on my mind

all I do is count the days

where are you now?

I know I never let you down

I will never go away

I really wish that you’d stay but what can we do

all the days that you’ve been gone I dreamed about you

and I anticipate the day that you will come home, home, home

 No matter how far you are

no matter how long it takes him

through distance and time

I’ll be waiting

and if you have to walk a million miles

I’ll wait a million days to see you smile

distance and time, I’ll be waiting

distance and time, I’ll be waiting

will you take a train, to meet me where I am

are you on your way?

I will never do anything to hurt you

I’ll never live without you

I really wish that you would stay but what can we do

All the days that you’ve been gone I dreamed about you

and I anticipate the day that you will come home, home, home

no matter how far you are

no matter how long it takes him

distance and time, I’ll be waiting

And if you have to walk a million miles

I’ll wait a million days to see you smile

distance and time

I’ll be waiting

no matter how far you are

no matter how long it takes him

distance and time, I’ll be waiting

And you can walk a million miles

I’ll wait a million days to see you smile

through distance and time, I’ll be waiting

oh oh oh

oh oh oh

oh oh oh

I’ll be waiting

I’ll be waiting

through distance and time

I’ll be waiting

You are always on my mind

all I do is count the days

where are you now? (Distance and time- Alicia Keys)

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Posted by on October 31, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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I’m in “like” with you, but how do I tell you?

I’m in “like” with you, but how do I tell you?

Oh, how I remember the days of young love and “like”. The days when the boys I crushed on gave me a tingle inside my chest. The days when all I could think about was hanging out with them and sharing secrets. The days when all I was concerned about was liking him and not whether or not he had a job or good credit…

Of course, I wasn’t dating when I was 15, but that’s beside the point. What matters now is that you still have an opportunity to do these things—young crush things. Writing love letters may be a little too much right now, but you can be his friend and have a blast hanging out.

Here’s what you can do to get all the answers you need:

Make the approach. I’m assuming you guys aren’t already friends, so strike up a random conversation with him (about anything… yeah, anything). This will break the ice and you’ll see what kind of instant connection you two might have.

Make a date. Well, make a “hanging out” date. Invite him to check out a movie with you or play some ball or study together. Strike up more conversation to get to know him better.

Drop hints. During your “dates” (which aren’t really dates), bring up gay topics in the news or that one gay kid you knew in primary school or any other random gay topic. His reactions will help you figure out where he stands and, as an added bonus, will open the “gay” topic up for discussion.

Come out (when you’re ready). If you feel comfortable, let him know that you are gay. Try not to pressure him into coming out right then, but let him know that he can talk to you. If he’s scared he may back off, only to return later. Clear the air about yourself, but give him some space.

Let life take its course. This is the hard step for us impatient romantics. There are an infinite number of ways this crush can go. You won’t know for sure if he’s gay until he tells you and even then you won’t know if he digs you until he… you guessed it—tells you. In other words, you might as well be his friend, spend time with him, share you feelings, then chill and let things happen. All of your questions will be answered soon enough.

No matter how things play out, you’ll get some practice at approaching guys (which will be a huge asset once you get older… Gay men love other men who are brave enough to make the first move).

Well, my gay friend, I have to go off and check my credit report and you have your approach (and some dates) to plan. Remember, play it cool, ask him out, bring up gay topics, come out to him and then have the time of your life.

 

 

 
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Posted by on March 17, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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Who is to judge?

Who is to judge?

For a first post on a blog called Blaque and Pink, this may come across as rather bleak and heart breaking. I am not one to cry over split milk or ask the why’s and why not’s, but what I see around me lately has made me to ask a lot of these questions.

As far as I know I never chose my sexual orientation and neither did any of the gay folk I come across, most of us have even at some point said “if I had a choice, I would not choose to be gay”. If our sexual orientation is something we never chose, why are we judged over it? Our communities look and regard us as freaks, our families disown us, we are judged, persecuted and discriminated against by the people who should be showing us love.

Never have I heard of a group of gay boys attacking another boy simply because he is straight, neither have I heard of a straight boy being disowned by his family because he happened to be too macho. So why are we treated this way both publicly and behind closed doors? Our lesbian sisters are raped as an attempt to show them that they are women as if they did not know that they were born and are female.

Is this justified behavior from society? Don’t get me started on our right to love and marry whom ever we want to, this is something frowned upon by all religions and in most countries it is totally unacceptable and seems like chances of same sex unions being legal is something we won’t be seeing in the near future if not forever. I am a human being, a man and a lover of men, does that make me different and an outcast because I happen to be sexually, emotionally and physically attracted to other men? Who has the right to judge me in this regard.

The Bible which is the book that Christians regard as the Divinely Inspired Word of God says in 2nd Corinthians 13 v 5 says Love does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil…. my question is when you planning to kill someone because he loves differently or you disown your child just because he happens to be what you believe is socially not acceptable, is that love.

n.b This post is a result of an incidence I happened to be involved in this week where love was taken back by parents because they found out their son is gay.

 
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Posted by on March 10, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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