Tag Archives: stigma

Double Double


This has been on my mind lately and its giving me headaches: my brothers who are closeted and having to live a double life just to please society.

Of course, we all can’t be out of the closet.  But how do we strike the balance between being who you really are and at the same time having to live your life in a way that society expects you to. This includes being partaking in organised religion and having a wife and kids.

It is tough being gay in this day and age;  but imagine how challenging it is when you have to duck and dive, pretending you are heterosexual whereas you know very well that you are not being true to yourself and are actually lying to the people who think they know you.

This is a result of how society expects us as men to behave and live our live. I am a 38 years old man who by now according to societal expectations is supposed to be married to a woman and having two or more children )depending on personal choice of course). I really can’t imagine how my life would have been if I wasn’t open about my sexuality; I bet I would have been the most miserable person in the world.

Living your life according to what others expect of you must be very physically and mentally draining. Hiding things and constantly living in fear of being “discovered”, means you always have to be on alert.  That is not the way life was supposed to be live. I wish there was a way of making things easier. In an ideal world, no one would be judged by their sexual orientation nor expected to “come” out. We would all just live our lives and date whoever we are attracted to.

Honestly, my heart bleeds when I think of the people who are not in the same situation as I am where they can just be free to be who they are and live their lives as they please.

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Posted by on February 24, 2014 in Uncategorized


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